News yet no news

My son Connor met with a family yesterday. I don't know if this is a family he will go through or not. I have no idea if they liked him, got on etc. The lady hasn't heard yet. I was just so excited someone came to see him! It is like being able to see an orphaned child & hoping "this is the family". Isn't it horrible? Then I feel so awful cause a family is meeting MY child! I feel like a failure. Sucks to be me some days!

This was earlier today, but I am still going through a lovely mix of emotions. I was hoping to get a call from the hospt so his brother & sister could see him as well, but they didn't call back. Not helpful. I have clothes for him ready to take & a new Spookley book & an actual Spookley pumpkin stuffed animal. He will love it. I was hoping to see him before evening, but oh well. (I don't like night driving.)

I have a wonderful friend who told me something today that made me cry, but made my heart settle a little better.

"You certainly are not a failure, you are one of the strongest people I know, you knew Connor needed help and to allow your son to go into the foster treatment program is brilliant, you have given him a second chance and allowed him to be happy in a safe environment for him and others. I can only imagine what you are going through but you should be proud of yourself, Im proud of you."

Pretty sure I would go nuts without her around! 

It is like my mum. I have never seen someone as strong as her. She raised two girls on her own every time my dad up & decided having a family wasn't what he wanted. He left her for a truck driver.....whatever you want to call them.....She had to leave us with our aunt while she went out & worked. She had to give up two of us. And yet she told me that I (ME!) was the strongest person she ever knew. That she could never handle things that I have to handle.

I came from a family of strong women (thankfully!), but it doesn't help how you feel inside when you just want to take care of your children.

On a better note Ian had a better day at school! I think these aids at this school need to find a different type of job! They seem to pick & maybe it is because they do not think he is doing the what they feel he can, but they are going about it all wrong.

Guess that is it for me. Off to hypnotherapy tomorrow! :)