August 3, 2005

After counseling I got home. Connor took his bath;Ian and Faith. I later found hand prints with Connor's face paint on the hall wall outside the bathroom and on the bath wall. I asked Connor and he denied it. I asked Ian and he denied it. The floor was wet; Ian cleaned it up and Connor cleaned the handprint's, but denied he did it and was being mean to Ian. I smacked his butt.

I went to Connor's room to pick up toys and discovered a hidden bowl with something old in it; my drill bit and a monitor being taken apart. He said foul things about his brother; blamed his brother. I told him to get the sanitizer, he did and started fighting. How easy it can be to hit someone when you are angry. What if you lost control? What stops you?

I just think how can I love this boy so much and slap him? Yell at him? I sent him out of the room. I told him to leave my house. Connor said he didn't want to. How can I raise a decent child when I do this in response to his behavior? What do I do?

I took his bed out. He can't hide anything now. I will have to find something else he can sleep on without destroying it in 10 minutes.

The kids got to bed about 8:15. I called and talked to Jim a bit. I have got to find another way to keep calm and handle this house! Augh. Please, help me Lord! SM MacLeod 954pnm