Most of the night I wondered about this arrangement with Jim. Is it right is it wrong? Is it necessary? Do I ask him to stay for my children? Do I allow his behavior in my home for the children? This is very hard for me because of my father being gone so much and then just gone.
Or is it necessary? Will he miss me? Will he move on? Will that be good or bad? My mother said until he moves on to someone else I will keep trying with him, like she did with Keith.
Will he miss the children and appreciate their uniqueness? Will this help him appreciate them before he loses them? What do I do? What do I say? If only he would come and offer to do something different, but he doesn't. I talk about him walking all over me and he talks about me walking all over him.
And perhaps him being there, stuck there, he will get out of some of his debt. We have to see if 1st Natl will redo the loan for him as well. He quit his bowling league last night. I asked why and he said, because I am leaving; unless you don't want me to. I told him I wasn't having that conversation. He said this is how the conversation went the last time we got a divorce.
He also mentioned how it was a mistake to remarry. I told him that before.
9:49 AM
Well, I had some tears. But we both think this is for the best, and he is going. So, who knows what the outcome will be. We will just have to wait. He is certain he will not live with us again though. He is deciding what he is taking with him. I bought the TV off of him. And we are taking the boys bowling before he goes, maybe today. It hurts the heart to know that we can't get along. But even he said he needed to get away from me and maybe he would appreciate us more. It does work that way.
I am cleaning. I didn't feel like class when I was crying. Ian watched a movie Connor started. Connor is outside, complaining. Ian is playing Legos and Faith is watching Pooh. She won't understand her dad not being here. It makes me ache.
6:23 PM
Well, this afternoon Jim went to Tularosa to sell some things for money for his trip. He came home and he, the kids and I went out to the Base (Holloman AFB). We ate lunch at Popeye's Chicken. I went to the ATM and we went into the BX. The kids each got a toy, C-nerf gun, I a nerf sling shot and faith chalk that lights up! J Then we went bowling. We bowled two games. Connor played both. We took pictures. My ache behind my left eye started in the BX.
We came home. I showered and the kids played. Jim went back to Tularosa to sell the wardrobe back for money on Friday. I guess he has to help my dad with a wood stove on Friday as well.
We got along well today. All the stress being laid off on the coming break, I guess. Well, when he got home he kept wanting me to go to his room. I did. We had sex. Don't ask me why or what it means. Break up sex. I asked if it was goodbye sex. Then I asked when he got back if he was going to want Hello sex! Augh! We are insane!
He is on the bed resting, the kids had snacks and are watching "Grimm" and I finished Majong and am watching my crime shows. I am tired.
SM MacLeod
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
It's Done.
Well, things change for better or for worse &I guess all we can do is hang on tight with both hands for the ride!
Jim went to work when he got up & was gone until this afternoon.
The boys & I had class. I was really tired. Faith was up every hour last night until 4am. Ugh. I don't know what was wrong. She needed several diaper changes & refills & cried & whimpered & complained about her foot. It was all very unusual. I haven't a clue.
Ian & Connor went to sleep in record time in their own rooms.
It looks like Jim is going to IA for the next several months. I told him I felt he should not move into the new house as mentioned. He apparently talked to his dad who said he could stay with him. He said he doesn't really want to go, but he can't afford to live on his own.
What do I want? I want him to stay with me. I love him. But he needs to go. I can't allow him to keep running over me & he feels the same, so what can we do? The boys were not happy. Ian was particularly upset. It just means I need to step up and do more with him. I did PROMISE, which I never ever do, to continue to take him bowling. He was happy about that.
I am upset, but this time I just have to keep it to myself. I told the kids we'd get a web cam since Connor hates talking on the phone. Well, have to put the Busha Bu to bed.
I love you all all. SM MacLeod
Jim went to work when he got up & was gone until this afternoon.
The boys & I had class. I was really tired. Faith was up every hour last night until 4am. Ugh. I don't know what was wrong. She needed several diaper changes & refills & cried & whimpered & complained about her foot. It was all very unusual. I haven't a clue.
Ian & Connor went to sleep in record time in their own rooms.
It looks like Jim is going to IA for the next several months. I told him I felt he should not move into the new house as mentioned. He apparently talked to his dad who said he could stay with him. He said he doesn't really want to go, but he can't afford to live on his own.
What do I want? I want him to stay with me. I love him. But he needs to go. I can't allow him to keep running over me & he feels the same, so what can we do? The boys were not happy. Ian was particularly upset. It just means I need to step up and do more with him. I did PROMISE, which I never ever do, to continue to take him bowling. He was happy about that.
I am upset, but this time I just have to keep it to myself. I told the kids we'd get a web cam since Connor hates talking on the phone. Well, have to put the Busha Bu to bed.
I love you all all. SM MacLeod
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Such Crap January 29, 2006
This was an odd day. The boys and I watched a movie this am and I cooked bacon. Jim got up and ate some and disappeared again. He said he wasn't feeling well. I went in his room and asked what was wrong. He was on the computer. Then he followed me and asked what I wanted him to fix for dinner. I said nothing, I was cooking a roast for dinner. He got really nasty for some reason and snapped at me. I told him there was no reason for that kind of response & he said I treated him like crap yesterday. I guess that was supposed to explain it. Well, I went in & had words with him. He said I was no longer going to treat him like crap, that I needed to "know my place". That he'd allowed me to walk all over him for too long. Waaah. Well, that is bull. He said I had no respect for him and I agreed.
I am sorry, but a man that chooses to waste his life and barely spend any with his kids when he doesn't have to work outside this house......And when I do 90% of the work, no his opinion isn't going to equal mine. He checks into our lives when he wants & the rest of the time he is checked out & I told him so. That is crap & then he decided to go on & say he had no respect for me. I told him he couldn't replace me & all I do for my family, cleaning, teaching, etc. That is bull. I told him if he had no respect for me not only do I not need it, but I don't want it! And I walked out.
He reappeared between 3-4 pm. Ate dinner & grabbed me. I don't get him. I don't think he should move in with me and I told him. Why should I let him? So he can keep this up & do nothing to boot? Then he tries to kiss me. He nastily said "You are so perfect" & walks off. No, I am far from it, but I am not going to put up with someone else putting me down, especially in my own home! He is in his cave again.
It really just ticks me off! When I was at the computer he made a snide remark about me sitting on my backside since I made one about him. I told him I can get more done on my backside that he can in a day! I need to just ignore him. I play this back & forth game & I need to walk away.
Turned out Ian got sick about 11 last night as well. Connor was really tired this afternoon & not feeling so well. He seems to have woken up now. I moved Faith & I back in to the room we had. Ian can have his own room again.
I am sorry, but a man that chooses to waste his life and barely spend any with his kids when he doesn't have to work outside this house......And when I do 90% of the work, no his opinion isn't going to equal mine. He checks into our lives when he wants & the rest of the time he is checked out & I told him so. That is crap & then he decided to go on & say he had no respect for me. I told him he couldn't replace me & all I do for my family, cleaning, teaching, etc. That is bull. I told him if he had no respect for me not only do I not need it, but I don't want it! And I walked out.
He reappeared between 3-4 pm. Ate dinner & grabbed me. I don't get him. I don't think he should move in with me and I told him. Why should I let him? So he can keep this up & do nothing to boot? Then he tries to kiss me. He nastily said "You are so perfect" & walks off. No, I am far from it, but I am not going to put up with someone else putting me down, especially in my own home! He is in his cave again.
It really just ticks me off! When I was at the computer he made a snide remark about me sitting on my backside since I made one about him. I told him I can get more done on my backside that he can in a day! I need to just ignore him. I play this back & forth game & I need to walk away.
Turned out Ian got sick about 11 last night as well. Connor was really tired this afternoon & not feeling so well. He seems to have woken up now. I moved Faith & I back in to the room we had. Ian can have his own room again.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Mood isn't Improving 28 Jan 2006
Yesterday, there wasn't a lot. We had class. In the afternoon, Tess came by to do her friends' taxes. She went to see the new house with us. They will do the new roof after the VA appraisal which won't be until mid February.
Yesterday afternoon Connor and I went to grocery shop. We did a two hour job and two baskets. Three to the van! Had to have help this time. We looked like a train leaving the store.
Today I cooked until noon. I cooked up all the hamburger, three roasts, catfish, chicken, pork chops. All turned out well, lets hope it freezes well! We'll see, but I expect this will help with the less eating out. Besides, we have eaten out tons since I got paid as it is.
This afternoon I wasn't in any better of a mood towards Jim. He nearly called me a name and he threw his "ring" in the drawer of my desk. He said he'd move out when he paid off my dad unless I wanted him out sooner. I said, whatever.
Tamara and Steve came over this afternoon. They took pictures, talked. Tamara said something & I gave her a "look", but instead of getting it she commented out loud. I am just so unhappy with Jim & I didn't want to talk to her in front of him.
Tamara played frizbee with Ian. He liked that. They left to go see A Shelley who went into the hospital again last night. I think they are leaving to return to KS tomorrow. The kids liked them both. Ian was bummed when they had to go. Faith gave them both kisses when they left.
The boys were okay today. They got me upset a couple of times just being really rowdy. Boys! Then just as I was sitting to type all of this Faith was screaming and when I was trying to get her to explain what had happened she threw up. I believe this is the first time she has ever done that. I was just thinking the other day how healthy she is. She is, and the boys are more so out of public school.
Well, I guess that is it for tonight! SM MacLeod Mommy loves you all! :):):)
Yesterday afternoon Connor and I went to grocery shop. We did a two hour job and two baskets. Three to the van! Had to have help this time. We looked like a train leaving the store.
Today I cooked until noon. I cooked up all the hamburger, three roasts, catfish, chicken, pork chops. All turned out well, lets hope it freezes well! We'll see, but I expect this will help with the less eating out. Besides, we have eaten out tons since I got paid as it is.
This afternoon I wasn't in any better of a mood towards Jim. He nearly called me a name and he threw his "ring" in the drawer of my desk. He said he'd move out when he paid off my dad unless I wanted him out sooner. I said, whatever.
Tamara and Steve came over this afternoon. They took pictures, talked. Tamara said something & I gave her a "look", but instead of getting it she commented out loud. I am just so unhappy with Jim & I didn't want to talk to her in front of him.
Tamara played frizbee with Ian. He liked that. They left to go see A Shelley who went into the hospital again last night. I think they are leaving to return to KS tomorrow. The kids liked them both. Ian was bummed when they had to go. Faith gave them both kisses when they left.
The boys were okay today. They got me upset a couple of times just being really rowdy. Boys! Then just as I was sitting to type all of this Faith was screaming and when I was trying to get her to explain what had happened she threw up. I believe this is the first time she has ever done that. I was just thinking the other day how healthy she is. She is, and the boys are more so out of public school.
Well, I guess that is it for tonight! SM MacLeod Mommy loves you all! :):):)
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Not a Happy Camper! January 26, 2006
I bought a few things off of ebay. One teaching CD, and a couple to use for home schooling for the boys. I also got a cd for learning typing. I got a new address stamp for the new house. And then I have one for each of the boys that is a date stamp that also has their name on it. That should help out.
We did class well today. They got a lot done. As long as I have the worksheets and feed it to them quickly, they do really well.
I needed to go to the bank. I told Jim I wanted to go & he asked if I was taking the kids! I get so pissed off! Why couldn't he watch them? Then he asked if I could take Faith. I got her ready and I was mad. I told the boys bye and then I stayed gone until about 5 after noon. We went back to the thrift store and picked up the hat Connor wanted and the pin-ball game Ian wanted the other day. Faith got a cute, musical, noisy toy and I got a few tops. I also got a Jesus card and Angel card with a little symbol in it for the boys. They liked it.
Jim and I had words over money today. I am really not a happy camper about it. He couldn't pay the PNM bill and expects me to. I paid the mo payment, but was really angry. We got the water changed over on the new house. I am unsure Jim and I are meant to live together. I just can't handle his financial mess. I have a mess of my own!
I also got angry when I wanted to get some of my grocery shopping done. He didn't have work, the boys were playing legos with Faith. I went on about his money, being a jerk and that he could get time alone whenever he wanted and I couldn't! As usual the talk went no where. Well, he said if I gave him money he'd take the boys to get a haircut. Ian didn't want one and Connor got a real short one. Jim also got my dad some of his mustard from the commissary.
Faith and I were nearly done shopping. We got diapers, tp and things like that. We saw uncle Robert. Faith gave him a big smile. He saw me later and saw that Faith was holding a Pregnancy Test! Well, I just told him lets hope not. He pointed out it only took one! I said my mother would have a heart attack!
My cousin Tamara and he hubby Steve are down, staying at my moms. Jim called and met up with Faith and I at WM. We drove out to Mom & Tony's to visit with them all. Tamara looked good, but is hurting. Her back is really bad. Then the other bits that need repaired too! I love talking to them and I love some things Steve said! How he hated when men make comments that it's the woman's job to take care of kids. Also when a man says he "babysat" the kids. He says they are his kids. Boy no wonder she likes him!I like that! I rarely find a man that talks like that about kids in this day and age though. Of course, he is a lot older too. And raised his own kids.
She had to tease me about being a newlywed. I could have done without that and a comment by Jim about being pregnant. Augh! Luckily, I mentioned it to my mom the other day & I don't have as strong of symptoms now though.
Tamara took some pictures of us all. And then we headed home. She was teary telling me bye. I am not sure why. Well, we went to Denny's for dinner and that was a mistake. It took 35 minutes for us to get out dinner. I was not a happy camper. The kids were wound.
We got home and Connor unloaded the "plane" he made with Papa. It is huge, but I said he could bring it home. He gets so upset, especially with the cycling. He is really snappy right now. He snapped at Faith when she spilled her drink in Denny's. He pops like a cork. He is remorseful, but he doesn't seem to have that ability to think first. Boy did he have to be so much like his dad!
After we got home the eve was fine and fast since it was 7pm. Everyone is in bed and I will head there shortly! SM MacLeod Mommy loves you all!
We did class well today. They got a lot done. As long as I have the worksheets and feed it to them quickly, they do really well.
I needed to go to the bank. I told Jim I wanted to go & he asked if I was taking the kids! I get so pissed off! Why couldn't he watch them? Then he asked if I could take Faith. I got her ready and I was mad. I told the boys bye and then I stayed gone until about 5 after noon. We went back to the thrift store and picked up the hat Connor wanted and the pin-ball game Ian wanted the other day. Faith got a cute, musical, noisy toy and I got a few tops. I also got a Jesus card and Angel card with a little symbol in it for the boys. They liked it.
Jim and I had words over money today. I am really not a happy camper about it. He couldn't pay the PNM bill and expects me to. I paid the mo payment, but was really angry. We got the water changed over on the new house. I am unsure Jim and I are meant to live together. I just can't handle his financial mess. I have a mess of my own!
I also got angry when I wanted to get some of my grocery shopping done. He didn't have work, the boys were playing legos with Faith. I went on about his money, being a jerk and that he could get time alone whenever he wanted and I couldn't! As usual the talk went no where. Well, he said if I gave him money he'd take the boys to get a haircut. Ian didn't want one and Connor got a real short one. Jim also got my dad some of his mustard from the commissary.
Faith and I were nearly done shopping. We got diapers, tp and things like that. We saw uncle Robert. Faith gave him a big smile. He saw me later and saw that Faith was holding a Pregnancy Test! Well, I just told him lets hope not. He pointed out it only took one! I said my mother would have a heart attack!
My cousin Tamara and he hubby Steve are down, staying at my moms. Jim called and met up with Faith and I at WM. We drove out to Mom & Tony's to visit with them all. Tamara looked good, but is hurting. Her back is really bad. Then the other bits that need repaired too! I love talking to them and I love some things Steve said! How he hated when men make comments that it's the woman's job to take care of kids. Also when a man says he "babysat" the kids. He says they are his kids. Boy no wonder she likes him!I like that! I rarely find a man that talks like that about kids in this day and age though. Of course, he is a lot older too. And raised his own kids.
She had to tease me about being a newlywed. I could have done without that and a comment by Jim about being pregnant. Augh! Luckily, I mentioned it to my mom the other day & I don't have as strong of symptoms now though.
Tamara took some pictures of us all. And then we headed home. She was teary telling me bye. I am not sure why. Well, we went to Denny's for dinner and that was a mistake. It took 35 minutes for us to get out dinner. I was not a happy camper. The kids were wound.
We got home and Connor unloaded the "plane" he made with Papa. It is huge, but I said he could bring it home. He gets so upset, especially with the cycling. He is really snappy right now. He snapped at Faith when she spilled her drink in Denny's. He pops like a cork. He is remorseful, but he doesn't seem to have that ability to think first. Boy did he have to be so much like his dad!
After we got home the eve was fine and fast since it was 7pm. Everyone is in bed and I will head there shortly! SM MacLeod Mommy loves you all!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
January 24, 2006 - Connor BP Cycling
Monday - back to school and doing well. The boys are both picking up their multiplications well. Connor still stresses when he can't understand something & Ian gets upset when he makes a mistake. He seems to want everything he does to be perfect.
Other than Connor's outbursts, blaming Ian for everything, they are doing better. We restarted the point system for chores & privileges. They still need pushed some days to complete it, but they have to have it done by 8am or they get 1/2 points. They can lose and gain points during the day.
About a week ago they lost their toys, which are in the garage. I have not given them back yet. They blamed each other for the messes & would rather give them to the thrift store according to Ian than pick them up.
A week before they lost the internet on their computers. I do not plan on returning it at this point. They refused to follow the rule of educational before internet games. Also when Connor couldn't sleep he'd get on the computer.
Since these changes we have done much better and I have been a lot less stressed.
Dr. Fiszbein Feb 3.
School. Connor & Ian got a little stressed. It was gloomy outside. They stressed on doing the clock minutes.
Jim didn't go to work. Faith fell asleep on Jim's bed until I tried putting a diaper on her.
Jim was still in bed this afternoon. He just got up about 5 minutes ago.
Faith took a nap, willingly. When she woke up she had a fever. She isn't feeling well & really grumpy. We have Donna apts this afternoon.
I have been looking up benchmarks for the kids. They are doing pretty well on most things. I am glad. I wrote down the things we need to work on. Mostly science specifics, History, & health.
Other than Connor's outbursts, blaming Ian for everything, they are doing better. We restarted the point system for chores & privileges. They still need pushed some days to complete it, but they have to have it done by 8am or they get 1/2 points. They can lose and gain points during the day.
About a week ago they lost their toys, which are in the garage. I have not given them back yet. They blamed each other for the messes & would rather give them to the thrift store according to Ian than pick them up.
A week before they lost the internet on their computers. I do not plan on returning it at this point. They refused to follow the rule of educational before internet games. Also when Connor couldn't sleep he'd get on the computer.
Since these changes we have done much better and I have been a lot less stressed.
Dr. Fiszbein Feb 3.
School. Connor & Ian got a little stressed. It was gloomy outside. They stressed on doing the clock minutes.
Jim didn't go to work. Faith fell asleep on Jim's bed until I tried putting a diaper on her.
Jim was still in bed this afternoon. He just got up about 5 minutes ago.
Faith took a nap, willingly. When she woke up she had a fever. She isn't feeling well & really grumpy. We have Donna apts this afternoon.
I have been looking up benchmarks for the kids. They are doing pretty well on most things. I am glad. I wrote down the things we need to work on. Mostly science specifics, History, & health.
Monday, January 23, 2006
January 23, 2006
Connor lost his tooth yesterday, pulled out one of his top capped teeth and had to spend his whopping $4! We went to WM. He got a candy bar. Ian got a Val toy and Faith a $1 pen that lit up.
I have been in this odd mood again. I don't know why and I don't know what it means.
Jim didn't have any work today. He tried volunteering at the Sr Center, but found he wasn't old enough! You have to be 55. I said we could color his hair and he could stoop a bit more and he'd fit right in.
I have been in this odd mood again. I don't know why and I don't know what it means.
Jim didn't have any work today. He tried volunteering at the Sr Center, but found he wasn't old enough! You have to be 55. I said we could color his hair and he could stoop a bit more and he'd fit right in.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Cycling - Connor January 22, 2006
Connor is a pill. He got hurt by accident when Ian moved a box like I asked them to, and he went off. I'd say it is cycling week since his father started his last night as well. So, he screams and blames Ian. Then he writes a note and puts it on his door. "My family doesn't care about me. All they care about is the brat Ian". Poor Ian. Always getting blamed. It is never Connor's fault.
Jim came back with a bookshelf and another recliner from Tullie for the house. I would like to rip his head off some days! Another bill. Ugh.
Jim was taking the boys bowling, but Connor and Ian started in on each other again with Connor screaming, calling Ian selfish, and blaming everything on Ian again. I made Connor stay home. He screamed more &I shut the door to his room. He kicked or hit it. Yelling how he hated the family. Cycling time!
I picked up a bit. Not really enthused to do a lot. Faith is watching Dragon Tales & Connor is eating a pork chop. I think I'll go take a shower.
5:26 PM
Jim & Ian came home. Connor read a book and did some dishes to earn points. Nothing spectacular going on. I am tired and bored. I keep eating and I am not hungry.
Faith keeps screeching or screaming. It is driving me nuts!
Jim came back with a bookshelf and another recliner from Tullie for the house. I would like to rip his head off some days! Another bill. Ugh.
Jim was taking the boys bowling, but Connor and Ian started in on each other again with Connor screaming, calling Ian selfish, and blaming everything on Ian again. I made Connor stay home. He screamed more &I shut the door to his room. He kicked or hit it. Yelling how he hated the family. Cycling time!
I picked up a bit. Not really enthused to do a lot. Faith is watching Dragon Tales & Connor is eating a pork chop. I think I'll go take a shower.
5:26 PM
Jim & Ian came home. Connor read a book and did some dishes to earn points. Nothing spectacular going on. I am tired and bored. I keep eating and I am not hungry.
Faith keeps screeching or screaming. It is driving me nuts!
Saturday, January 21, 2006
The Day After January 21, 2006
The day was good. I returned some things at Kmart and picked up Connor's
medicines. Ian's aren't done yet. They always run out of the Benedryl. I got a new scrubby and the boys new toothpaste.
After a bit Jim went to work & the kids &I went to King's Treasure. Ian got a helicopter, Connor got a styrofoam airplane that was huge. They played with it till it was in pieces. Faith got a set with markers and a tiny wipe board inside the pack.
Ian has been increasingly angry, especially when Connor makes him angry. Before I'd say he would cry more about it, lately it seems more anger. I will have to watch that.
I was really grouchy when Jim came home and couldn't handle the trash issue on his own. I get annoyed because I always do it, but he has problems doing anything. So, I was annoyed and told him about it. He thinks there is something else bothering me, but nope, that is it.
This evening is going okay so far.
medicines. Ian's aren't done yet. They always run out of the Benedryl. I got a new scrubby and the boys new toothpaste.
After a bit Jim went to work & the kids &I went to King's Treasure. Ian got a helicopter, Connor got a styrofoam airplane that was huge. They played with it till it was in pieces. Faith got a set with markers and a tiny wipe board inside the pack.
Ian has been increasingly angry, especially when Connor makes him angry. Before I'd say he would cry more about it, lately it seems more anger. I will have to watch that.
I was really grouchy when Jim came home and couldn't handle the trash issue on his own. I get annoyed because I always do it, but he has problems doing anything. So, I was annoyed and told him about it. He thinks there is something else bothering me, but nope, that is it.
This evening is going okay so far.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Wedded Again January 20, 2006
Well, today is the day of insanity. The boys are very excited. I guess that is good for them. Ian has commented when Jim asked them about getting married a week or two ago that now I could have another baby. Ian just loves kids! He will have a half dozen or more!
Connor went up to his dad's ear the other day and said he wanted to be Jim's "Big Man". Jim said, best man and Connor said yes. So, he is the best man. Ian is holding the rings. I guess Faith will just look cute!
Connor was up and dressed by 6:30 this morning wanting a tie!
I think this is insane and I am not happy nor excited about it. I have no real reason to. That is sad. Jim is happy and excited, but anyone who looks in my face can see I am not. It is all odd. SM MacLeod
5:33 PM
Faith and I went to town earlier. Connor decided we needed a "wedding" cake. We got a Pralines cake, but Jim asked for a little white one too. Turned out the Pralines was white cake. I tried to find a top a little nicer for the wedding. I didn't want to look like a total schmuck. I couldn't find anything.
I got the kids each a door hanger that they color as a wedding gift. I got Jim some Turtles.
I went on to Kmart and found a blouse and skirt. Mom & Tony met us here and we drove over. The courts were busy and took a long time. We got in about 40 minutes late maybe 50. It was nice. I like Judge McCutcheon. He had a nice marriage ceremony with some very insightful things.
After that we went to the courthouse. And then off to Chili's to eat a very late lunch/dinner. We came home. Jim took the van to see about a tire that keeps going down (nail in the tire). And also to mail the certified copy of our marriage certificate to VA. Well, we'll get a bit more money any way and I will get life insurance.
Jim is going on about consummating our marriage. I think after three kids, its been that! The pg thing. We don't have a clue, but I don't think I can be. We'll see in about another week!
Connor went up to his dad's ear the other day and said he wanted to be Jim's "Big Man". Jim said, best man and Connor said yes. So, he is the best man. Ian is holding the rings. I guess Faith will just look cute!
Connor was up and dressed by 6:30 this morning wanting a tie!
I think this is insane and I am not happy nor excited about it. I have no real reason to. That is sad. Jim is happy and excited, but anyone who looks in my face can see I am not. It is all odd. SM MacLeod
5:33 PM
Faith and I went to town earlier. Connor decided we needed a "wedding" cake. We got a Pralines cake, but Jim asked for a little white one too. Turned out the Pralines was white cake. I tried to find a top a little nicer for the wedding. I didn't want to look like a total schmuck. I couldn't find anything.
I got the kids each a door hanger that they color as a wedding gift. I got Jim some Turtles.
I went on to Kmart and found a blouse and skirt. Mom & Tony met us here and we drove over. The courts were busy and took a long time. We got in about 40 minutes late maybe 50. It was nice. I like Judge McCutcheon. He had a nice marriage ceremony with some very insightful things.
15th Street house
In Judge McKutcheon's chambers
After that we went to the courthouse. And then off to Chili's to eat a very late lunch/dinner. We came home. Jim took the van to see about a tire that keeps going down (nail in the tire). And also to mail the certified copy of our marriage certificate to VA. Well, we'll get a bit more money any way and I will get life insurance.
Jim is going on about consummating our marriage. I think after three kids, its been that! The pg thing. We don't have a clue, but I don't think I can be. We'll see in about another week!
(I will note that there were several other photo's that didn't come out. What does that tell you, besides my mum never using my camera before?!)
Thursday, January 19, 2006
January 19, 2006
Class for the kids. Jim took all three of the kids to Kid's Kingdom. They were all excited. This is Faith's first time there. Ian assured me that they would take good care of her. They told me bye, Faith gave me a kiss & waved. I am going to lay down a bit.
4:37 PM
I didn't get much accomplished today. I was just ugh. I mean I picked up, vacuumed, the usual. I just felt so tired after just being up a couple of hours. The boys have been pretty good today. Faith has been screetchy. She fusses & cries & screams if she thinks someone is going to do something that she should do. Or if it is with her toy, boy watch out!
Jim was gone a while this afternoon. Nothing new or exciting. I e-mailed Michelle a response to hers last night, but that was it.
4:37 PM
I didn't get much accomplished today. I was just ugh. I mean I picked up, vacuumed, the usual. I just felt so tired after just being up a couple of hours. The boys have been pretty good today. Faith has been screetchy. She fusses & cries & screams if she thinks someone is going to do something that she should do. Or if it is with her toy, boy watch out!
Jim was gone a while this afternoon. Nothing new or exciting. I e-mailed Michelle a response to hers last night, but that was it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Playing with Fire...No Really! C - 18 Jan 2006
January 18, 2006
Yesterday Connor was playing with the fire in the hot water heater. The day before that Ian said Connor said something about making a fire. I caught him trying to sneak a pencil under his vest outside. I am unsure why.
Jim just found his medicine box missing from the top of the closet. We suspect Connor took it, although he says it was Ian. A jar of meds was missing. As I went to their room, (Ian was picking up in the closet), Connor dashed in. Ian yelled, "Hah, caught you!" And there is Connor with a bottle of pills from behind his mattress, saying Ian put them there. No TV and Computer until confession. No confession yet.
Well, he said that he was trying to find the (pocket) knife A Joey had given him for Christmas a few years ago. That the pills he didn't mean to have out of the cupboard. Jim had several pocket knives in there and now he is getting rid of them.
The rest of the evening went well.
8:51 PM Connor took another set of Melatonin. He is having trouble sleeping.
Married...Again? 18 January 2006
The day is young! Up, dressed, trash out, eating breakfast, with makeup to go! School in a little over an hour. I am trying this new program that I think I will buy. It can be really useful. I think when I start my book it will be really useful too.
Faith is so funny. She comes over to my bed which is no little deal. She has two blankets and a juice cup, which she hauls up on the bed. Then she gets up. She moves up to the pillow and covers up and drinks her juice. She is funny. I shake her hand around my finger and say, "Hello I am Mommy." And I say, "You say, hello I am Faith" and she giggles with her smile. She is a doll. Ornery, mind you, like her brothers!
Then there is Connor. Who has to attack me at bed time with kisses and hugs for both sides. The one who has many times he wants left alone. He is picking up the multiplication tables we started very well. I was impressed! And as always, he is full of energy that I wish I had!
Ian is kind. He takes care of people. He is great with Faith and as ever tries to make Connor happy. He is more angry lately than he was before. He will stomp, throw things down, & slam his bedroom door. But he is kind and he loves to learn. And he loves his daring climbing and dangling from the basketball hoop!
11:01 AM
Jim, the kids and I went to the court house. We got our marriage license. I told Jim it was the most stupid thing I had ever done in my life. He thinks just because we love each other this is going to work better. It won't and even I know that.
Then we went to the title company to get the prenuptial agreement notarized. Then we went to the Municipal court to find out about getting married. It costs nothing if we do it there and Jim is waiting for Judge McKutchin to call him since he likes him.
We went to Sonic and are back home now. I am not feeling the best. I wish I new I wasn't pg for sure, but not sure it has been long enough to know. I will have to see.
2:07 PM If I am pregnant, it is going to be a boy. SM MacLeod
8:35 PM The nuptials are planned for Friday the 21st at 1:30 pm. My mom and dad are supposed to come witness it.
Everyone is in bed. I am tired, but can't sleep this early or I wake up in the middle of the night. I started my manuscript today. It is going well. More descriptive.
Faith is so funny. She comes over to my bed which is no little deal. She has two blankets and a juice cup, which she hauls up on the bed. Then she gets up. She moves up to the pillow and covers up and drinks her juice. She is funny. I shake her hand around my finger and say, "Hello I am Mommy." And I say, "You say, hello I am Faith" and she giggles with her smile. She is a doll. Ornery, mind you, like her brothers!
Then there is Connor. Who has to attack me at bed time with kisses and hugs for both sides. The one who has many times he wants left alone. He is picking up the multiplication tables we started very well. I was impressed! And as always, he is full of energy that I wish I had!
Ian is kind. He takes care of people. He is great with Faith and as ever tries to make Connor happy. He is more angry lately than he was before. He will stomp, throw things down, & slam his bedroom door. But he is kind and he loves to learn. And he loves his daring climbing and dangling from the basketball hoop!
11:01 AM
Jim, the kids and I went to the court house. We got our marriage license. I told Jim it was the most stupid thing I had ever done in my life. He thinks just because we love each other this is going to work better. It won't and even I know that.
Then we went to the title company to get the prenuptial agreement notarized. Then we went to the Municipal court to find out about getting married. It costs nothing if we do it there and Jim is waiting for Judge McKutchin to call him since he likes him.
We went to Sonic and are back home now. I am not feeling the best. I wish I new I wasn't pg for sure, but not sure it has been long enough to know. I will have to see.
2:07 PM If I am pregnant, it is going to be a boy. SM MacLeod
8:35 PM The nuptials are planned for Friday the 21st at 1:30 pm. My mom and dad are supposed to come witness it.
Everyone is in bed. I am tired, but can't sleep this early or I wake up in the middle of the night. I started my manuscript today. It is going well. More descriptive.
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