Easter - 24 April 2011

Begins the search...

Easter egg eye covers?

It is here somewhere....

Basket of goodies.

My goodies too!

Ian's "eggsperiment" from yesterday leaving the egg in the color super long!

My Evidence - 21 April 2011

I don't know what makes people just be rude, but every other month or so my ex gets on his high horse & texts me. It is because he is like this I refuse to answer his calls. Here is a conversation we just had. These are the actual texts from my phone.

Jim: Would you please call me when you are able to. I would also like to talk to Ian & Faith if she will talk to me. Thank you. 9:06 AM

Me: What do you want? She gets home @ 3:20. (It may seem rude, but the only reason he texts is to cause trouble or borrow money.)

Jim:  Why will you not talk to me? Is Ian home? Why do you keep things from me about our children? I don't care what you do with your life. I do care about our children & like to be in the loop. 9:14 AM

Me: Then you should call them. They are only your children when you can be bothered. I asked Ian when he talked to you last.....

Jim: You know I find some things strange about you. You don't share any information about the kids or keep me informed. Why is Ian not in school? He will not tall me why? You sent my Dad emails slaming him on his views about Muslims and Gays. Would you have the same opinion if our daughter married a Muslim and was treated like a piece of property and abused with no rights as a women and does your religion condone violance againts other christians who do not believe the same as you. Our freedom of religion beliefs is and will destroy and will destroy this country and christianity will become a outlawed religion someday because of Muslims. By the way have you been though an airport checkpoint lately? Even little old ladies and kids are heavly screened because of the actions of Muslim and their hate for us. Open your eyes. Also would you have the same christian view on gays if you weren't bisexual yourself? I know you dislike me. But you don't have to have a power trip and think you are better then anyone else. I want to be informed about our children. 9:33 AM

Me: You are so full of yourself. I believe passing judgement is God's job not mine. How many Muslims do you know? Don't think you should preach on how to treat a woman in a marriage do you? Anyone can be a terrorist. Visited Ireland lately? Don't like religous freedom leave MY country. May want to ck the Constitution of the US. Not bisexual but if anyone cld turn one it wld be spending so many yrs with you!

Jim:   I will not be in the state and  I did not make you bi..you made that choice and I do believe in freedom of religion in my country however people like you who dont see the perils of such beliefs and see the hate that muslims have toward us.  There will never be peace in the world as long as there is Islam. Also why do now believers effect how we beleive in God and they push their views and opinions on us and keep God from being the foundation of this country.  Freedom of Religion was to worship and to acknowledge God on term of your chooseing.  Not to take God out of society like so many people have.  You can accuse me of all sorts of things and you have a warped sense of selfrightousness about yourself.  YOU PROVE IT EVERYTIME YOU DONT TALK TO ME ON THE PHONE OR KEEP THINGS TO YOURSELF LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THEN ME.

Me: And are you the one Connor is getting in trouble for saying anti type things in his school?


Jim:  no Connor and I do not discuss such things. He has formed his own opinion with no help from me. 10:07 AM

Me:  Why is it more important to say things to me than just calling your kids? I don't get it. You don't upset me any more Jim. So you may as well not bother.


Jim:  Well I didnt push my views on him nor do I share everything that has to do with adult subject matter that childern dont undertsand or comprehend like you like to do.

10:13 AM

Me:  My boys are 14 & 13. They learn from school & tv. Id rather them ask me than reproduce when they shldnt or hurt ppl when they have no right.


Jim:  I am not trying to upset you. I just dont understand your reasoning. You know that you make excuses for Ian and his actions and he is uncontrolable because you have never really held him accountable.  10:15 AM

Me:  What are you on about? Ian is doing well. He is almost off all his meds since Connor is gone. He has been playing bball & losing weight. He does chores. And you don't upset me. -You do this once every other mo or so & frankly you make me laugh. You don't want the kids so it makes you feel better to put me down. Go ahead.


Jim:  I try to call but you all dont answer the phone. They also dont make an atempted to ever call me. Only Connor calls me and I really enjoy hearing from him. He sounds really good and happy. Not down or depressed. Happy and go lucky. 10:19 AM


Me:  Yeah because he lives in lala land. He tells me all is fine too but if it was he wld be home. It is not their job to call you & they don't want to. Ian is at the age where his bb games are more important.


Jim:  why is he not in school? He is so far behind. 10:22 AM
 
Me:  How do you know where he is in school? He is home schooled. He is doing great & very proud of himself.


Jim:  Good to know. I just saw the frustration and stuborness and lack of respect for rules and the inability not to be able to read and the frustration that came with that. I also seen an angry young man who would not listen to reason and would run off and act up. Our sons do not like to be held accountable for their actions. do you have some what of control over him. Or does he do what he wants when he wants? 10:29 AM


Me:  When did they have you to show then responsibility? When did you sit & help them read? When did you show then eating out, sleeping all day, & begging money fromothers wasn't responsible? Where is your self control? My sons are growing up with disabilities what's your excuse? Don't talk to me @ them when you did nothing but leave, return them, & put yourself first.


Jim:  Have a nice day...Thanks for texting me back. Take care of your self and the kids. Good luck with getting your vehicle fixed. 10:33 AM


Jim:  you know thats funny when you make all the money you do and you waste it on frivouls things and borrow from people yourself.  You dont know how to manage money either.  Why is it everytime I come down there.  The kids are in too small of clothes or they have old ratty shoes and need me to buy them clothes that fit.  You blame me for your problems.  You created them yourself.  You marched to the beat of a different drum unlike anyone else on earth.  Highly visible Tattoos are not attractive on a women of selfrespect.  You make things up as you go to suit yourself and your views.  You are not normal and I am not at fault for your actions. You blame me for your lifestyle.  You choose to be the way you are and its your life to do that.  However dont cloud the minds of our children with your way of thinking.  There is no help for you or changing you.  You are who you are by your choice.  I tried to fit into your lah lah land but butted heads with you and was unable to stand you or understand you for that matter.    You are even more screwy then me. 10:51 AM

Me:  Luckily noone that knows me & my kids agree with you. My kids' money goes for them. They do not have things that do not fit hence Ians new size 13 shoes all 4 pairs. I know what your closet is like. My kids love my tattoos & you have them so how can you comment. I don't care what you think of me. You are mean hurtful prejudice & judgemental. I am so glad they are nothing like you!


Me:  I haven't borrowed money from my parents even for moving. You can't say that. You can't even visit your kids. you want to know why they don't call you? Look in the mirror!


Jim:  yeah Hiletr surround himself with 10:57 AM

Me: They deserve the money since they have no real father!


Jim:  yeah Hilter surround himself with people that thought the way he did and killed or externinated those who didnt.. I am a caring kind genorous person that has an open mind. Every one who knows you outside your little circle knows your off your rocker. even Tony says there is no reasoning with you.  11:01 AM

Me:  Glad I am not a Muslim with all that kindness. You contradict yourself. Using my dad doesn't wk either. But keep it up. Perhaps you need some history lessons too.


Jim: oh you make sure that I have nothing to do with our children and know nothing about them. You are the selfish one. They get there goodness from me. You are the one that is not nice. You prove it alot by your actions.  11:03 AM

[CB]7123012295

Me:  I feel sorry for you that this is all you do with you time besides taking from your parents eating & sleeping. It is not I that am ruining your relationship with the children but you. Sad.


Jim:  They have no real father because you have them so screwed up that no one can handle them or stand to be around you.


Me:  No they don't because they never had one & they do have a great influence in their life & he has never once put me down.


Jim:  he doesnt know the real you..By the way you were kick out of the Navy because of your views and being unable to conform to set standards 11:09 AM
 
Me:  No I wasn't. You don't get an honorable discharge being kicked out. You are a sad person. Perhaps you aught to worry @ you instead of others. You can't seem to handle that.


Okay, so now my son knows about the above texts. Ian called his dad. He told him the things he said to his mom weren't nice. He tried asking his dad a few things like where he was going on the weekend when he couldn't visit him.

Jim said Dick (his mother's husband) is paying. Ian asked again if he was paying any & this time Jim said he was paying some. (Story change.) He asked if fishing was more important than coming to see him & Jim kept skipping over the question. In the end, Ian got upset, called his dad a name I wasn't expecting & hung up. Jim then text this to me.

Jim:  you know that Ian had no right to see those messeges as that was adult material between you and I and he can not comprehend how fucked up you are. He is blind to the truth and will always see your way and your beliefs. There is no help for him. You are warped and should be sharing such information with kids. Your parenting skills are in question. Your of your mind and dont even know it. How dare you let a child talk to an adult like that and call me names. Sonya everyone outside your circle knows the truth about you.  12:00 PM

Me:   Yes & my attorney loves these text messages. Oh by the way...if the name fits.....


Ian took my phone: Hi it is me ian you are a jack ass and get a life you mother fucker

OOP! I about died! You can't condone that!

Jim:  why would you need a lawyer? They say nothing but the truth and if you wernt kick out of the Navy why did you not serve your full term or be let back in when you tried. 12:04 PM

Me:  I know one & he keeps things for me. As for your son he is 5'8 & takes the phone!





There were actually a few more texts threatening me legally. I don't know why. He doesn't want the kids they are too much trouble.  Don't know that they would go to him anyway for long. Maybe his girlfriend dumped him again, I have no clue!
Well, he just text that "Maybe our kids would turn out normal without your influence". Guess that answers that. Wonder what all the x-rays, medications, abnormal EEG's, below average IQ, psychiatrist, psychologists, special ed classes, speech therapy, etc mean.....Silly me!

The Tattoo - 19 April 2011

So, here is the story. My best friend, Kerry, wanted to get a tattoo for her birthday in June. So, we agreed we would get one done together. Yes, I know it isn't June. But you see she felt she would chicken out by June, so we went sooner....months sooner! So, I got this as a B-Day present! :)

She got her's but the artist was having drawing & design issues with mine, so I had to wait. Her's by the way is great!

My poor friend was suffering! So was that poor pig!

All Done!!

So, here is how mine began....

This was the first session.

Then the second session where he darkened parts around the wings & tail.

 Ok, I have had a few tatoos, but none hurt as long as these darkening ones did. A whole week b4 this one laid off & the other one, due to where it was, split so many times it wasn't funny! Never saw someone wake up so fast at 1:30 am as when I tried to put my arm under my pillow. Ouch!

 The one that split.

There is a specially made set of needles called a bar. It is NOT fun. It makes these lovely streaks. They go over & over the same spot & it hurts soooo much more than the regular (one) needle & the alcohol they spray after! Yes, may look neat, but my eyes watered & Kerry was so annoyed that she missed me in pain! She thinks I look too comfy when I get my tattoos. :)

 

Well, here is the little critter! All finished! I never want to see a "bar" again led alone let one touch me! I was so happy when he put on that single needle! When he sprayed the alcohol I almost cheered! Just a few touch ups in a few weeks, but oh boy, isn't my Lil' Fire Lizard Cute!

Thanks Anne McCaffery & the Dragonriders of Pern! :)

Connor's latest Adventure - April 18 2011

My son's poor F Mom sounded a bit bedraggled the last two times she called. I so know that feeling.

The latest adventure had to do with sneeking out of his bedroom (breaking the window), onto the porch where they store the sodas. He had some 30 or so can's in his room (he is only allowed 1 per day) & when confronted, "I didn't do it" was the response.

I find that eventually he will & did take responsibility, but it does take a while!

The next item of interest would be mouthing off to the bus driver. I think someone ate my son & took over his body. He just hasn't been like this in school, etc. He is on a stricter chart of items he must get done now.

He did go on about wanting to kill himself/being dead. They had to take him to be evaluated but I guess he figured really quick he wanted to go back home & not go to a facility. Here, he just wanted the facility. Going home was just not something he wanted.

I know that if I had these incidents here, his psychiatrist would have made some adjustments ASAP as these are impulse control issues. Apparently the psych that deals with him does not take such a quick approach. I also find it annoying that the Asperger's seems to be addressed before the Bi-Polar which is backwards. If you can't keep the moods stable & the impulses under control you might as well throw out the learning & retaining.

Sometimes being less involved is easier & sometimes it isn't!

Love you boy! :)

Mental Humor

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you!

Who taught him he was better? - 17 April 2011

It would seem that my son's foster mother has has quite a rough couple of weeks. She hurt her arm, losing feeling in her fingers. Luckily now she got meds & physical therapy, but lack of sleep, pain & my son couldn't have helped!

It would seem that my son, Connor, is of the opinion that he is better than everyone else, he is whiter & German.

This wasn't exactly how I thought I may wake to my Sunday morning, but hey, my kids keep you hopping.

I have never in my life raised my children like this. Especially since my home is very Celtic in decor & I work on my family genealogy which we have always known encompases, Austrian, German, Irish, Scottish, English, French, Cherokee & recently another tribe.

The first time I heard a slur from my son was when he was in a facility in KS. I was so surprised since it was against a black person & his friend was black! Before this point I had never heard him speak this way.

However, the fact that he went up to a black teacher last week & asked her how she was there when he was German, white, & better than her, I about had a cow! I couldn't believe my son had talked to someone like that. He has always been respectful unless in a melt down & then quickly remorseful. He apparently has made the comment about mexicans which is also crazy since his best friend here is Hispanic! It makes no sense.

He has no friends according to his foster family, so where is he learning it from? According to the Fmom he came to her like that. He never had any of these issues in school here. He never spoke that way in school here. I am going to check with everyone, but I was never told of such talk. I am also going to talk to his brother & their friends.

I was raised by an ex-nun in a strict Roman Catholic home. I brought my children up Christian. In fact, Connor would be the most religous. It is totally crazy to me.

I spoke to him after & he said everything was "fine". It took me talking directly about it with him. I told him it would stop now. Also told him that he has never been raised like that. He said they pick on him at school & call him a Nazi & I guess he wasn't getting why, so I told him what Nazi's thought about supremecy & what they did to millions of people & asked if he wanted to do that to people. He was crying & said no. I asked if he thought his Grandma, Aunt & Uncle (in heaven) would be proud of him. He said no. I told him the reason he was upset was because he was ashamed. I told him I loved him, but was not proud of his behavior.

I can only hope it helps along with the even stricter measures at home. I love my son & I pray he will understand. Can he? I told him I didn't want him beat up & I certainly didn't want him dead. Told him his brother & sister would want to die if that happened. I hope that may mean something.

Blood Royal by Mollie Hardwick

Blood Royal

Blood Royal was written by Mollie Hardwick in 1988. It is about the rise and fall of the Boleyn family. It traces the steps of Thomas and Elizabeth's children: Mary, George, and Anne from their barely lived childhood through the time they are thrust into the world of politics and greed.

Thomas Boleyn's desire is to climb politically to King Henry VIII's side and he uses his children to help establish himself there, pushing each of them and his unborn grandchildren to their sad fate. The book is about a proud, strong family who falls as quickly as they rose.

Mary was the oldest daughter. She had all the features she would need to acquire a good marriage. Thomas Boleyn favored Mary over Anne, (an ugly child with an extra finger and long neck, who fought for life with her mother at her birth). Mary fell into disfavor with her father by being seduced at the French Court. Trying to please the French King and her father, she became known as the "English Mare". She was eventually King Henry VIII's mistress. She became pregnant and he still had interest in her until she bore a daughter, Catherine. In time she wed a knight whom she loved very much.

Anne never failed her father. She knew French to perfection, with the accent. She would also bring a good marriage, one beyond her father’s dreams, to King Henry VIII. It is funny to find that Anne fell out of favor and was sent away from court(before her marriage to Henry)until the King wished her to return. Anne's anger grew and when she was being courted by Henry she said she would not marry him. Of course, in time she did.

Another point of interest is a man named Tom Wyatt. Perhaps noone, but Anne knew of his great devotion and love for her. His narrative is truly a heart-breaking one. He wrote poetry to her and first loved her when he was only a boy, a love that would never die.

You know of Queen Anne's short rein, but she had power while she was in Henry's eye. Her family’s downfall because of a man's whim, a King's whim, is sad. The Boleyn family climbed so high and fell so far.

Queen Anne was accused of having an incestuous relationship with her brother George, and accused of treason as well. Both she and George denied this and were strong. Many people spoke on their behalf, but to no avail. Queen Anne mounted the steps alone, extremely fearful, but nobody would recall seeing her tremble. The headsman's assistant rustled some straw, distracting her, and the sword came down. Her beauty and bravery charmed even the headsman who would not say anything against her and gently laid her head down. They say Queen Anne's blood still stains the ground where she was beheaded.

George was to be quartered and hung. It was a very unfitting death for another innocent victim of Henry's desires. Thomas Boleyn had scurried home after he could not help his son and daughter. His wife was very bitter toward him. He died almost one year later, lonely, bitter and disappointed. Mary held his hand between her own.

Elizabeth had gone on living her life when many would not have. She had secretly seen her granddaughter, all she had left of Anne. The little girl’s clothes were too small, and she lacked so much she should have had. Elizabeth was found among the grass later that day.

Mary was never the same after her own husband’s death. Most of her replies to people were not sensible. Mary Stafford died at 45 years, simply because her life was over.

A family of knights, mistresses, royalty, poverty, death, treachery, pride, ambition, strength; This was all just a part of what makes the great story of the great Boleyn family; Only a mere touch of a great people.

1984 by George Orwell

I don't want to read this, it's so boring. Everything about Winston Smith's life is so grey, drab, and dull.  But once I began to care about Winston, I began to hope that maybe, he could be one to rebel against how his country and the world had become. Could he escape to the other side and be free? To fight the governmentthat had taken away their hearts, minds, and souls? To fight the veryinstitution that made bombing the Proles not an outrage, but a normal way of living? To make up your own mind, to care and speak freely, to write anything you wanted, whenever you wanted. To simply love another. Then you have to stop and think, is their even a war going on between Eurasia and Eastasia? Had there ever been? But to have any thoughts like these:  independent thoughts....Do you know what would happen? Even if you truly believed that you were safe, the Thought Police, they would get you in the end. They would conform you, and you would never even know, or want to remember that you had even held these thoughts. More conflicting yet? You do have these memories, but why would you wish tothink about them? And then you set aside "1984", by George Orwell, and you must ask yourself some questions:  Have I conformed to my government's wishes? Yes. Why? For the greater good of everyone. Is it? Where do we stop taking everyone else's word and go see for ourselves?  Will it be too late one day to see ourselves in Winston's world of rules? No longer having a mind "they" did not create? Is our world becoming a "Negative Utopia" of its own? Or is it already? 01/08/1995

Fibromyalsia stats

2010

June 3 - Headache 3:10 pm. Hands 4:14 pm.
June 21 - Woke with migraine (left eye). Full body aches by 10:24.

July 17 - Woke with migraine, next were knees, arms & hands. Tooks meds, slept & improved.

Aug 12 - Headache
Aug 13 - Woke Headache & knees started. By 9 am arms & hands
Aug 26 - Dr. Jun

Sept 3 - Tired
Sept 4 - Tired
Sept 5 - Hands & knees
Sept 7 - Fibro in eve
Sept 8 - 2 hr nap. Fibro in eve
Sept 9 - Mild Fibro & 2 hr nap
Sept 10 - Nausea all day & night
Sept 12 - Nausea all am. Fibro hit @ 4pm arms, head by 5:30 pm arms & legs bad.
Sept 19 - Headache 4:20pm  Fibro hands & knees / Low back spasms
Sept 20 - Shaking; lower back pain
Sept 21 - New Med. 2pm bedtime; lower back issues.
Sept 24 - (Connor El Paso) Fibro started before I left EP. Bad evening.
Sept 25 - 1pm hands.
Sept 27 - Shaking during the day. Full Fibro episode.
Sept 30 - Woke with bad migraine. Fibro pain started within the hr. Headache gone by 9am, fibro bad. Slept from 9:30 to 1:30 pm

Oct 1 - Headache when I got up.
Oct 5 - Headache & tired. 1pm so painful I can hardly move. Still sore to touch by 8pm but much less severe after sleep.
Oct 6 - bad low back; really tired; nap @ 2hrs, woke bad red eyes & hint of headache. Fibro hands, arms, etc by 6:18 pm.

Nov 4 - Went to sleep during day for 4 hrs. Unusually long. Out of it the rest of the day & missed apt. Foggy head. Remembered the next am!
Nov 7 - Extreme sleepiness by 11 am.
Nov 15 - Bad cold all week, wiped out.
Nov 17 - Only had 3 hrs sleep. Went to Las Cruces & Fibro hit.
Nov 21 - Fell asleep at 2pm. I never sleep that late. Hard to get self up @ 3pm.
Nove 22 - Fell asleep at 11 am.
Nov 23 - Tender scalp; hard to get up. By 8:30 am hands & arms. 9am legs. Head killing me by noon.

Dec 6 - Fibro hands & body. Full body pain by 5pm.
Dec 7 - Tired, napped
Dec 11 - Low blood sugar
Dec 13 - Eve -Headache shadow, pre-fibro; full blown before 7pm Ugh.... Hot flashes.
Dec 25 - Hands & arms
Dec 26 - Slept real late & laid down & napped 2 hrs. Hands, 4:30 arms, fog, movement. Ugh!
Dec 31 - Headache shadow

2011

Jan 1 - Woke with Migraine 7:30am.  Back to bed @ 8:30 am to noon.
Jan 7 - Severe exhaustion hit at 6:30pm
Jan 8 - 1:40 pm headache whisper. Full blown by 4pm
Jan 9 - 5pm Fibro
Jan 11 - Migraine; nausea
Jan 12 - Migraine; nausea
Jan 13 - Migraine; nausea; Fibro legs, arms. Full by 7:30pm Very tired at 1pm.
Jan 14 - Dr. Jun
Jan 22 - Feeling worn down by 9am; Headache started 4pm by 4:15 feeling neck & hands & arms.
Jan 30 - Head, knees first in am. Total body aches.
Jan 31 - Very stressed mood.

Feb 1 - Tired starting in am. Headache started @ 4pm. Fibro body, legs, arms, hands by 6pm. Warm flush.
Feb 5 - Headache, Fibro hit hard & fast. Couldn't move by 4pm. Hot flashes 4:14pm
Feb 6 - Headache shadow 6:30pm
Feb 7 - Headache by 7pm & arms by 8pm
Feb 8 - Headache 3:30pm; Fibro aches by 4:30pm
Feb 9 - Headache 5pm; Fibro arm pain 8:30 pm
Feb 13 - Head & knees by 9:25 am.
Feb 21 - Severe migraine in Las Cruces. Bad Fibro by the time I reached home. Difficulty driving. Barely could move by the time I crawled into my bed.
Feb 22 - Migraine 2pm; Fibro down neck, hands, legs, & feet.
Feb 23 - Migraine, lighter Fibro
Feb 24 - Headache by 3:30pm & then Fibro.
Feb 25 - Ah, Fibro Again! Greeaatt....Longest stint. Ugh.
Feb 26 - Head for a few hours. All over pain.


March 1 - Head
March 7 - Shaking
March 9 - Migraine whisper at 7am; Full Migraine by 10 am; Arms, legs, neck by 11:35am
March 13 - Top of feet. By eve bending feet & knees hurting very badly.
March 14 - Woke aching everywhere; wrists, feet. Thighs by 9:30 am.
March 31 - Headache 4:30 pm; Fibro 5:30pm

April 3 - Headache in pm
April 4 - Headache in pm
April 5 - Headache in pm

April 6 - Headache in pm
April 20 - Severe Fibro. In bed, slept from 9:30 to 1 pm.
April 25 - Migraine at 8 pm. Sick to stomach.
April 26 - Migraine still. Dizzy 8:30 am & really dizzy 8:40 am with any movement of head.


May 8 - Headache shadow at 7 pm. Full Fibro by 9:30 pm. (Had trip to Las Cruces this day.)
May 18 - Tired
May 19 - Tired
May 20 - Headache starting in pm.
May 21 - Migraine headache full & Fibro by afternoon.
May 22 - Migraine & Light Fibro starting up again.
May 23 - Light headache in am, worsening by 4 pm. 

Just to have it on Record

I called & left a message with Connor's FYI case manager just 2 seconds ago & want to write what I mentioned.

I wanted to know if his Bi-Polar is being addressed as much as his Aspergers is. It seems they focus on the Aspergers but his Bi-Polar has to be addressed just as much with th violence & swings in the mood.

There was also no mention in the Treatment Plan they sent from last week about our last two visits. His shortness in temper with his siblings, esp his brother, & his repition of words, which is usually a sign of his mania.

And there was not one word of mention on how he hurt Ian on the last visit - kicking him by his knee so badly he was having trouble walking. Somehow I think that makes a difference in his treatment plan of no hurting anyone for 3 months, not to mention to the insurance.

I also asked which insurance was wanting his discharge in 3 months so that I could see what to do.

Fun times! :)

What will it Take?

Will my son have to hurt or kill someone before he is kept somewhere safe? Prison won't be safe for a child like him. He will be raped & killed if his guilt doesn't kill him first.


Why do the insurance companies not listen to parents & family members who know about the fears of their coming home means? It is not that we do not wnat them. It is not that we do not love them. It is not that we do not want them. It is because we love them that we want them somewhere safe & where they can be happy living as normal a life they can without hurting someone.


My son is in a treatment foster home where he is doing well & is happy.  Now, the insurance company wants to release him in 3 months. Then what will happen? Will he hurt his brother who is 13? Will he hurt his 7 year old sister? Will he hurt me? Will he hurt someone else? Will he hurt himself? And yes I know that "hurt" could one day be worse.


Insurance releases those who are showing progress & do not pose an immediate threat to themselves or others.


What do you think? If this was your child, what would you think? What would you think would happen? What do you think should happen?


I often talk about an incident that happened some years back in Albuquerque, NM where a mentally ill man went to multiple facilities begging to be admitted & was turned away. He ended up shooting strangers & killing them. He had been fighting his illness for years & his family had sought help for him repeatedly. So, even if you know you need help, you may not get it.


So, my question is again:  What will it take?