Mom's in ER - 28 March 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006   3:30 PM

My mom went to the ER yesterday afternoon. She caught a cold last week. Papa said she had been up all night w diarhea etc. but I guess at some point she noticed she was bleeding (rectal) and it was a lot.

They decided to keep her. She was having to use a bedpan. They were giving her pain meds & took her off her blood thinner for a couple of days. They gave her a cat scan to find out what the bleeding is from. They are supposed to see the specialist this afternoon. I haven't heard yet.

Jim called me last night & offered to come home if I needed him to watch the kids. I don't need that. It was nice of him to offer though. He called a bit ago to ask how she was doing.

Today we had class and the boys made GMa get well cards. Uncle Robert called last night mistaking a message from my sister with me. He was going to the ER last night.

I have grounded the boys & set them in time outs during class for disrupting class. Connor is banned from my grassy yard as he has messed up the sprinklers& plants. They are both banned from TV just  now. Well, dinner calls.

SM MacLeod

We're Done

We're Done

Sunday, March 26, 2006   7:56 PM

Today wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The kids and I did a bit of running this am. I was looking for something to add for my desk area. I ended up with nothing. The boys each got a new hammer since their wooden ones broke this past week helping Papa and building.

I talked to Jim a bit earlier today and got the feeling he was done with me. He wants me to beg him to come home and live with me. But he isn't giving me anything. He told me he felt I didn't want him any more.  re: him not wanting to help out. I basically said that if he wanted me bad enough he'd do something about it.  He made a comment that maybe the truth was coming out.

This afternoon was fine. I got my shelves sorted out FINALLY. But it turned out that I damaged my computer monitor. Bummer. L

Faith was going in and out. Ian put her old car seat on a swing and swung her. She loved it! J I told Ian he would make a wonderful dad. A better parent than me and his dad. He was proud. I also thanked him for playing so nice with his brother and sister. Told him Faith loved him very much. Connor does too, I said, he is just grumpy! Ian laughed.

I love that they both want prayers at bedtime now. And we do at least one prayer for at least one meal a day now. I like that. I missed that. J

Jim was on MSN. I didn't think he was going to talk to me after the conversation earlier. He phoned then and said he didn't think I was capable of giving him what he wanted and he didn't think he was capable of giving me what I wanted. He said he was still waiting for something from me. And I said the same. I said you want me to ask you to come home. He we didn't live well together, but he didn't want to live apart. That he wanted something more. He asked if I could say that I love him, miss him, and wanted him home. I told him no. He said we had nothing more to discuss and we were done then. He would only call to talk to the kids and he'd visit them on Faith's birthday.

I can tell him I love him. But I don't miss him being here because it wouldn't be any different. He basically said so. I was a bit hurt when he hung up, but what can I do. I wrote him an e-mail telling him I would always LOVE him, but I needed him to not just expect me to do it all.

I said I would send him gifts for his birthday and asked him to put me on the life insurance.

Ian said he wanted him dad to come home.  I had to explain he'd visit in July, but would return to IA. That was his home now. They weren't too happy, but went off after the talk. I will maybe have a one on one with them tomorrow. Connor said but your married now. I said I know, but Daddy left. What else can I do. At their age they don't know the complexity. Heck, I don't understand it either!

Mommy loves you all. SM MacLeod J

Catching up Feb 24- 21 March 2006

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Well, it has been quite a trip! The closing got shoved to Friday, Feb 24. It was about 3:30pnm. After that the next day was moving. PaPa Tony came in early & I had already packed up my van & took some things over & put them in the storage room. I was there Thur when they were putting in the carpet. I waited hours for the Direct TV people. So irritating. I didn't get everything hooked up.

Later Mom & Tonya came to help as well. We were done by that day. I finished cleaning a bit & dropped the keys off at the rental place & that was it for me! J

Then it was two weeks of moving things around the new house. Swapping bedrooms left & right. As of this past week I think we finally got everything settled now. Just in time for my vacuum to kill over!

Jim & I have chatted, e-mailed, phoned, & web cammed. I told him to get a girlfriend & he did go out a few nights in a row. He wants me to let him come home as do the kids, but I just can't. I am content here. I am happy. I don't want to deal with what would come. He said the other night that I don't miss who he really is & perhaps he is right. I just don't know.


My parents' Anniversary has arrived!

 

Faith's look at my mum cracks me up!



Aunt Shelley was the other reason I have not written. She nearly died last week. It was touch & go for a bit after she got the news of only having 6 months to live due to her kidney's failing. Her sister was out here for a while as well.

To top it all off my cousin Mark Allen is ill. He has fluid in his lungs & odd lumps that spread within a day. He was bleeding & not clotting. There is a possibility of cancer. The doctors were idiots & did not send off his tests last Thurs like they were supposed to & Mon sent him home having fluid in his lungs and a fever! Not too good an outlook for the doctor with my family! Still awaiting word.

Then suddenly A Shelley started to improve. Her body started to respond to the antibiotics they gave her in response to a bacterial infection. Last week she was sitting up in a chair. The week before we were all crying! Yesterday she was walking & taking a shower! Today or tomorrow she is to go home. I sent her a card today wishing her well & sending our love with an Angel with Shelley on it about it watching over her day and night. I hope she likes it.

Papa is going to help me with a fence to corral the kids in the carport. Connor builds in there. Tonya is looking for a new job & taking correspondence classes to become a realtor. I hope it all works out for her.

J SM MacLeod