Issues with my Dad

Those who don't know, which should be no one, I had a falling out with my dad last July.

It actually didn't have to do with me at all, since he was mad at my sister, but he took it out on me & told me several things about me, how he feels about me & my spending time with my kids, & how we had no real relationship which really destroyed how I felt since I always enjoyed talking to him & felt I had a good relationship with him.

Wow, so that kind of blew a 22 year relationship out of the water. We hadn't always gotten along, but that was more when I was in my 20's & had just come back home from the Navy. He became my step-father when I was a junior in high school. We had one other issue when we lived in Wales. My mother & I were not getting along, I was 17, & I was confiding in him, I thought. It was someone to talk to about how I felt. He told my mother that he thought I was trying to put a wedge between them. Why would I? She was happy, then.

So, my dad & I don't really talk much. I feel uncomfortable when he comes over like I should be doing something. Kind of like my ex maked me feel. Thanksgiving last year without my mum was up at their old house & I felt uncomfortable. Not just because my mum was not their, but because whenever I sat down I kept hearing the conversation where he said all I ever did when I visited was sit on my butt & why didn't I go outside & play with my kids. (Funny, thought it was cause they were playing & having fun & I was visitng my mum. But he yelled that I didn't visit her enough either.)

Ok, so I wonder why my dad pops in when he sits there. I tell him stuff that he can do nothing about & I don't call people so don't know much. When I showed him photos from our family in Kansas where my sister is staying he doesn't seem interested. Maybe he is & I am misreading, but he didn't comment, so I can't say.

So, he didn't come over for a few weekends (he usually stops by before church). Easter came & went & I was glad in the sense I didn't want to go up to the house & be uncomfortable. Then he popped in suddenly, mid week.  I sat at my desk & he was in front of it.  He said he hadn't been by in a while & thought he'd stop by. He said he had been busy, he had a girlfriend.

I am afraid my response was to ask if she had four legs or two. He said he wasn't into that kind of thing! I thought maybe he got a pet & that is what I meant. Apparently this lady is someone he has cleaned a chimney for in the past.

There are a few interesting things to note:

1. He told my sister about this at least a week before me.

2. When he told my sister she could move into the house in Dog Canyon he said, "We've discussed it, & decided....."  So, he is discussing things with this woman that have nothing to do with her since this was propety he was going to sign over to my sister & I until this fight last July.

3. My cousin in KS asked if I thought he was having an affair as my mum had told her she suspected as much. I told her no. I don't think I was wrong.

4. How long has he been seeing this woman?

5. My mother has been dead 1 year 4 months when said he had this girlfriend & apparently told my sister he was going away for a month in Aug with this woman. How well do you know someone before you go away with them for a month?

6. Why would he ask my sister to come from KS to watch his dogs for this month when I live here? I must be scarier than I though!