C's Behavior 14 Dec to 29 Dec 2006

Dec 14, 2006 - Moping & doing checklist slowly. Afternoon good playing Lego's in room. Mad - sent to room to stay; bad mouthing me. Took all evening to do check list. No tv. Arguing @ taking puzzle to room when sent for punishment. Focused too much.



Dec 16, 2006 - Up before 7 am. Good morning. Did checklist well & in a timely manner. Took out the trash with no problem or argument. Playing well with brother @ 12:30.


Dec 17, 2006 - Calling Ian a brat when he (Connor) got in trouble. Issues with making a mess in Ian's room when they were playing & not wanting to pick it up. Tears & rudeness.


Dec 18, 2006 - Argues/Disobedient/Yells/Temper tantrum/Threatens/Loud/Bad attitude: Connor was sent to his room for bad mouthing mom. We went to his school concert where he was in the choir (earlier he did not want to go). Connor was proud of himself. Connor returned to his room after we returned home. He went well & did his check list.


Dec 20, 2006 - Decreased energy. Can't sit still in evening. "Don't care" attitude/pessimistic. Two time out in the evening. He can't sit still much. He brushed his teeth! Went to bed @ 7:55pm.


Dec 28, 2006 - More even keel. Voice not so loud; repeating. Controlling over sister. Ear picking decreased. Helpful, not defiant or argumentative like the last few days. Good Day!


Dec 29, 2006 - Fighting with brother. Attacking brother who was provoking him.

Health Information - 3 Dec 2006

Health Info

Ruth Ann Burgess, my mother, had a heart valve prolapse @ 2000/2001


Uncle Jerry, her younger brother, my uncle, had bypass surgery due to clog, he had a coronary


My mother, Ruth Ann Burgess and she thinks my cousin Denise has mitral valve leak. Mother also had Atrial Fib. The Aortic Valve was replaced.


My grandmother, G Donna Weis, my mother's mother, had Miocardial Infaret, she died at age 40. My Uncle John, my mother's brother, died at age 42 from Massive Heart Attack.


My grandfather also had bypass surgery and I am unsure what else.

Ian Meds - 29 Nov 2006

November 29, 2006


Ian started taking Depokote ER yesterday evening. I have seen no tantrums today, so far. I am glad and hope this will help him be more himself. SM MacLeod

Jap, A Day in the Life of a Mum

September 23, 2006



I found the door open a bit earlier. It crossed my mind that Jap might have gone out. After a look around the house this evening we can't find him. I am very upset. Faith said, "Faith misses Jap, Momma."


I am so upset! I hope he will come home soon. SM MacLeod



September 28, 2006


On Tuesday Faith & I did some grocery shopping. After school, the boys wanted to spend their allowance & we went to WM again & did a bit more shopping.

I said we could eat out at a restaurant. We went to Margo's. Not long before we were getting reading to leave, Ian said he was going to be sick. I sent him to the bathroom and was getting everything ready to go & he threw up before he got to the bathroom! Poor boy!

Wednesday, Faith and I finished the grocery shopping. We stopped at Good Will on the way home and found an electronic bowling game and I got a few clothes for me.

At home Faith stripped & I started cooking up meats. Papa stopped by. I got the game set up & we picked up the boys after Chess Club, which is going well. They both seem to like it a lot. I am glad.

Lets see. On a side note: U Robert is moving to Las Vegas, Nevada. No one knows why. It "seems" he is trying to wipe everyone out of his life that has been associated with him for the past 30+ years. He is getting rid of everything. I guess the good point is that he listed his house with Tonya (Tess).

Ian was up most of the night sick. Poor guy. He is the one that throws up the most in this family! I was up off and on with him. At 3:30 I was unable to go back to sleep. At 4am I sat in my chair. By 5 am I thought I might get to go back to sleep, but Ian was up with the other end, and by then, I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. This woke Connor up early as well.

We just stayed home. I caught up a bit on picking up from shopping and cooking day.

Jim is getting surgery on his nose tomorrow. They are removing a piece, evidently, and hopefully he will breath better and maybe have less sinus problems.

I got two lots of Legos for the boys' Christmas from GMa & Papa. And a Millennium Falcon for Tess to give Ian for his birthday. I am watching one more, but am not sure I will bid. It is a good lot though.

Ian is watching Angels in the Outfield. Connor is watching part time. Faith is missing and I need to go find her! I just hope she is in her room!

SM MacLeod

Love my Life - 22 Sept 2006

September 22, 2006

Well, today has been busy. This morning after everyone got up and the laundry was put away I took the kids to North Schools' playground. After that then we went to Kid's Kingdom. We got breakfast at Sonic and came home.

Tess stopped by; she was in the middle of her glucose testing. Seems not to have the problem any more. Her weight loss probably helped that issue. Her pants are all baggy on her!

Faith seemed warm and not feeling too well. But after a while we went out to Grandma's. Faith visited A Tess. Ian played dominos with Grandma and Connor was hunting bugs outside. I visited with Tess a bit as well.

Home then dinner. Jim called during dinner. The kids talked to him a bit and I flirted a bit! It is so fun to embarrass him!  The kids are playing, eating me out of house and home, and watching Buzz Lightyear cartoons.

SM MacLeod

Sept 19, 2006

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 6:32 AM


Today is a busy day. After dropping off Ian, Connor has a dental appointment to have his "spacer" put in.  This afternoon the boys will have chess club until 3:15 pm. And they have counseling with Donna (Mohr) at 4 and 5 pm.

Thursday and Friday the boys have no school as it is a teacher in-service day. I am not sure I like those. The kids miss out. I think I will have them do things at home. I am mostly concerned that the math and reading keep up.

My land line phone service is on this morning. I hope the DSL modem will arrive today. I miss being able to look up things on the internet.

The children are still asleep, but I expect them up shortly.

SM MacLeod

20 - I got to VA for a shot.

Balloon Watching - 16 Sept 2006

September 16, 2006

This morning the balloons were out and the kids enjoyed watching those. Each of them drew a picture, and Faith gave me her scribbles. They were cute!  I picked up some bush limbs while the kids were outside. I will have to add more in a day or two. Don't want to fill it up too much.

We met Aunt Tess at Si Senors for dinner. We had a nice chat about her taking on the children if I died etc. Briefly talked about uncle Robert. Then the kids and I went to WM. Tess went home. She is still sick.


We got a few pull ups for night time, ink, litter, my syrup, T-shirts for Papa's Christmas, and a few window clings for Halloween. Amazing it was $107 in the end! So scary!


This evening Faith is brushing and the boys are shooting and playing aircraft outside!  Sounds like it will be a normal evening for us!  :)

SM MacLeod

U Robert - 15 Sept. 2006

September 15, 2006

This morning Faith & I dropped the boys off at school. Papa stopped by. Uncle Robert is being fruity again. Apparently something happened between he and his girlfriend and there are legal papers against each other. Weird. Any way, he told Mom & Dad he is going to Las Vegas. (A good place to die.) Apparently, mother was concerned he may be serious. I don't know. He probably could use getting out of here and away. He has his teaching degree and Wal-Mart galore are there, so I guess if that is where you want to go, that would work. I hope he will be okay. Papa wants to invite him out to talk to him. (Sad to note that he really did eventually kill himself there. 9 Mar 2011)

He was supposed to let Tonya (Tess) sell the house and then found a buyer for it and made her mad. I understand, but he is like that with changing his mind. He has been lost, frankly, since A Joey had her depression & then her stroke and died. He needed her no matter what people may think.


I love talking to Papa though, no matter what it is about. He is funny.  (Who knew this would one day change? 9 Mar 2011)


I guess Tess has been sick all week. That isn't good for her pay! She needs that money badly.


After I pick up the boys I am going to take the kids to the zoo. I thought that would be good this afternoon; it is a bit cooler than usual. This weekend we should see the hot air balloons as the White Sands Invit. is this weekend. I saw one this am, but lost it before I could show Faith. It was going pretty fast; I think it landed.



Tess car seat covers arrived, Papa carried them in! Mom ordered them for her for Christmas/B-Day. She will be thrilled since WM has stopped carrying them. They are cute.



Well, I guess that is it from me. I need to count change as the kids will want a drink at the zoo, I am sure.  SM MacLeod

IEP & School

Thursday, September 14, 2006 11:26 AM




This morning was Ian's IEP. That is all done for the next year. I was okay with most everything although I thought Ms. Stauffecher was being a bit of a snot about the time and questions asked me.

I still don't like the speech teacher, but that is that. They are trying to increase his speech to 60 min. a week.

I was not please to hear about testing for Ian not being able to do the simple subtraction, when I know he can do double subtraction with regrouping. I guess he will get a worksheet at home until that is settled with me. He is as a Kindergarten reading level. We need to work on getting that up. Back to reading for TV.

His goals for himself were neat and I loved them! I will put them in his book.

They are now doing these annually and that will be easier than 2 times a year. So that is nice! Besides, I like his teachers and they are great about him and any situation that arises. So, we are good!

I need to ask Connor's teacher if she can keep a notebook like Ian's for him. I need it mostly when there is homework. I will see what she says.

Keith sent Connor two vintage airplanes for his birthday. They are ones at Wal-Mart I had shown him to spend with his money card. So, I know he'll like them. He also sent Faith $20. I guess he is making up for things.....

I talked to Jim a bit last night. He is funny. I told him about the boys in the Chess Club and we talked about an email quiz I sent him! Funny. He was looking at dating sites, but doesn't seem happy about the women writing him. Oh shucks!

Faith was restless after that IEP and was happy to be home. She has been clobbering the cats with love and laying on her bed, playing in her pj's. Funny girl!

SM MacLeod

Yard Work - Fun

September 13, 2006



I can't believe it has been a week already! Where has the time gone? Well, this weekend I was yelly and grumpy - PMS. Isn't it great?

Monday Faith and I did some running after we took Connor & Ian to school. Connor got his Birthday card from Harlyn and got a $30 gift card. He got an airplane you pump up and it flies when you throw it. He also got a Lego jet. Ian wanted something so I let him get a Star Wars transformer. Faith got a little Lego car and lip gloss watch.

Tuesday the same, but she ate breakfast with them first. I cleaned the house up. We got the boys. Ian was a bit grumpy when he got home. We trimmed some bushes in the back yard that was blocking the school zone lights. And I trimmed one that was attacking the alley! The boys played and the evening went fine.

Today we walked to school. The boys ate and went off. Faith ate and we went home. Today I worked on the outside of the house! I could clobber my kids some times for the mess. My aunt would have killed me! It is neat and clean. I called my mom to see if I could come and get the lawnmower. I took her out the TV she is going to use in her other room. Silly for it to sit in my cupboard. Faith and I banged for 5 minutes on the door!

After that we stopped by 1st National hoping to redo my loan, but it looks like it is a no go. It is funny. You have too much debt to get a loan, but without the loan you can't get out of the mess!

Anyway, I mowed the lawn and alley way. Picked up the debris from the bush. The yard looks really nice! I am banning toys from the back yard! Lets see how long that lasts.

Today the boys have chess club! They will be done in about 35 minutes. I figure I would go to the school in a bit and be there early, just in case. We'll see how it goes. It is the first time for an after school activity for them. Mr. Glover will be there, so I am okay with that.

Well, I have to help Faith finish dressing! SM MacLeod

Connor's 10th Birthday - 9 Sept 2006

Connor's 10th Birthday!

Connor loves butterflies.

A new sleepingbag

Airplanes to paint!

Checking out my brother's butterfly net.

Grandma helped put Connor's new tent together.

And Papa's B-Day too

Let's eat!

Missing Her Brothers

Wednesday, September 06, 2006 9:17 AM

Connor had a great day yesterday!  He was really happy. Had problems with being hungry, but Ian did too. Difference is Ian's teacher doesn't allow snacks and Connor's said he could bring one. Ian had a good day too. He likes Mrs. Royer's daughter, Madison.

Faith and I got some present wrapping done after she ate breakfast with her brother. In the van on the way to leave she said, "Momma, I miss Connor. I miss Ian". She isn't used to being without them this much.

She and I ran to the Dollar Tree and got her something and the boys something, but she snuck into Ian's room, opened his and broke it! I wasn't happy. She got in trouble and sent to her room. So, when Grandma arrived she was cranky big time and went to sleep. (Unfortunately, she still woke in the same mood!)

Grandma stopped by before her appointment about her ribs hurting. She has to get x-rays today at 1pm. I found the seat covers she wanted for Tonya's car on ebay and found Papa's shoes at Payless on line. So, that helped.

I guess their roof leaked with all the rain and went in the wall and all over the floor. NOT good. Something else they need to fix this month, which was a big bill month for my dad and my folks are in the hole of the donut, which is ridiculous, for her Medicare. That idea is ridiculous.

I am in trouble again this month. It is unbelievable, but the good thing is, all the bills are paid and we need nothing until the next payday. I just need to behave and stay home!!!!!

Faith and I went to WM after we dropped the boys off. (Connor took Madison a rose. Silly boy.)

We got Jap new cat litter and food and hope that helps the litter box issue! He used it and covered it up! We are off to a good start! Home now. Mom will stop by again to pay for Tess' car seats. Need that back in the bank! Faith was coloring/writing and now she is "reading" a book!

SM MacLeod

Sept 2, 2006

September 02, 2006

We walked around the Cottonwood Festival. Faith bought a fuzzy spider on a string and Connor got a rubber band gun. Ian got a rubber band bow and arrow.


The rest of the day the boys played. Papa stopped by and got his money. The kids watched some tv and played some more! I cleaned, picked up, and put my school stuff away. I got bummed when I was putting the school stuff away.


I called Jim; he was getting ready to send Connor's package. Then I talked to Tess for a bit. She was at work, bored. I think she will love it when she gets going in it. The guy who she liked, who I think will train her, will be back this next week. She will be happier then, I think.


It is raining now. The boys are doing their checklists and Faith is terrorizing Jap. I think I will get my books caught up now; work on the pictures I need done; and mostly get back to my writing!  And, of course, Faith and I will do some learning stuff too!

SM MacLeod

Et tu Connor?! - 1 Sept 2006

September 01, 2006

Last night we attended Ian's open house. He was so excited and proud. I met Mrs. McGoldrick's husband, daughter (19), and granddaughter. Dakota her youngest was in the class next door and the kids went to tell him hello. Ian is doing well.


Then we met his teacher for the afternoons, for Science, Social Studies, and Math. She said he does very well, especially in Science. His subject.  He loves her class. He was very happy last night. Connor has said he wants to return to public school.


We met up with an old friend of theirs, Jordan, and I talked to his mother. We saw April, but I didn't get to talk to her. I did buy a school T-Shirt (Bobcats) for the boys and Faith as well.


After talking to Connor a few times more he was certain he wanted to return to public school. I don't like it, but I think if they continue to learn from where we left off I won't complain.


This morning we all went to the school for breakfast. As the children ate I took Connor's papers to the office. After Ian went to school, we went to the Special Ed building. Faith played as I filled out papers. Then Ms. Mitchell came and we filled out the preliminary IEP papers for Connor. He will be getting retested for the Speech and Occupational Therapy, and Academic Eval since he is about to turn 10. That is the age.


Well, we ran several places today getting Connor's supplies. I took He and Faith to Sonic and got Ian some as well. They talked to their father today. The evening was fine. I was a bit short tempered for some reason. Ian wants to go to bed, so I am off.

SM MacLeod

No Cavities! - Aug 28 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006 / 8:05 PM

This morning we took Ian to the dentist. I can't believe it no cavities! Not a one! That is so great & so unlike their mothers' teeth! Thank goodness! J Ian wasn't feeling too well, but I took him to school & his teacher said he had a good day, so I guess it was okay. He was worn this evening.

Faith took an hour and a half nap today. She looked much better after she woke up, not to mention being her ornery self! J Tess was here. She was looking really worn today.

I did better on the eating, but I wish I had never "fallen off the wagon"! It seems harder. But I have new cat books (Mysteries of course!) and I am going to go start one! J

SM MacLeod

31 - Jim helped Papa.  Papa's finger got squished. I got my denial papers from Social Security.  Jim got Arby's for dinner. Faith was sick all day on my lap L. She has never been sick like this. I rocked her the entire day. She retched most of the time. My poor baby. Jim worked on the bushes! Yeah! Apparently, my dad nearly lost his poor finger! Had to stitch it! Parents! J

Just a Good Week :) - 22 Aug to 26 2006

Just a Good Week :)

Aug 22, 2006 - The boys had counseling with Donna. She said they were doing fine! J

24 - After taking Ian to school, Connor, Faith & I went to WM & home. Connor is giving me grief @ school work. We got it done & Faith & Connor went to the dentist. All good! J Connor got fitted for a spacer. We went & got Burger King & went to Kmart. I got the boys 2 shoes & a sleeping bag for Connor's birthday. I need to pick up Ian in an hour.

Saturday, August 26, 2006  

Today has been a good day really. The children have played well, without much fussing. Tess stopped by; I had a few things for her. I have picked up. Cleaned my room a bit. Redid some of the containers in my kitchen; I got new containers. Really, I haven't been too productive today. I simply haven't really wanted to! J

Ian lost a recess yesterday during school. He had written his spelling on his hands and we didn't get it off and it was just too tempting to look at. He will retake his spelling test on Monday. He has a dental appt Monday as well.

Dr. Fiszbein called last night. He thanked me for the call from Senator Domenici's office. He thanked me for my support and was trying to be overly helpful in re to the boys, but they are doing well for the most part. I am pretty happy with them & for them.

My friend in England had a scare with her youngest boy. He lost consciousness and was out over a minute in the ambulance. He came to when they were nearly there. She is really concerned, poor girl. I told her my horror story with Connor eating the D Con at 2 yrs.

Connor is playing, Ian is building and Faith is terrorizing the cats! Everyone is happy & doing well! SM MacLeod J

Weather & Whining! - Aug 19 2006

Weather & Complaining!

August 19, 2006 

Today is not a good day! Last night I woke at midnight. There was sound outside as it the wind was blowing the world away. I looked out of the window to find the wind was hardly blowing, but it was the sound of how hard the rain was falling. Thunder & lightening. I got up & was trying to account for all of the cats.

Poor Poirot was screeching out the front door. After I let him in I went to the laundry room to see if Bill was in there. As I went out of the door there was such a loud burst of thunder that I ducked! Scary!

 

I didn't go to sleep again for another hour. Some time early in the morning Ian joined me. I didn't even know. Faith was crying about 5 something & I lifted her up. Shortly after Connor came in. So, between tired, and PMSing, it has not been that great!

I fixed my first wheat pancakes. Not too bad. I had trouble getting my cordless mouse working, but here we are now, all fixed. I gave the boys their cork guns and two of them broke before 5 minutes was up. I am not happy as they were not cheap! I e-mailed the guy and may ask for my money back. I am not happy about it. I hate messes.

Well, yesterday I talked to a lawyer about my disability. They took info and are sending me some paperwork to sign this next week. I have another phone appointment in two weeks. We will see how this goes. I would love to get the social security, but I am not holding my breath. I think this is the last step I will take and that depends on what the lawyer says after reviewing my stuff.

I am also concerned that Ian is not going to be challenged enough in this class. I am going to talk to his teacher on Monday. He is doing baby math & I am not happy with that either because he is working on 3rd and 4th grade math at home. Not a happy camper today, am I! What a whiner! :)

SM MacLeod

Ian's First Day Back in School

Ian's First Day Back in School

August 16, 2006 / 1:08 PM

Well, this morning went fairly well except for Connor sneaking in Ian's room and putting on his school pants. Few tears after he had to take them off.

We left at 7:30 to walk to school. I visited with Ian's teacher. She is Dakota's mom, a boy from their past class. She seems very nice. She says she is very structured and that last year her students improved in reading levels by 1.5 grades! That is great! Ian may be good with her. I checked on Ian in the lunch room getting breakfast. He seemed happy. There were several people there excited to see the boys including Mr. Glover. J He was happy at least one of the boys was returning.

Faith, Connor & I walked back home. Connor had class. We went to Wal-Mart and back home. I picked up a bit and now watching the clock so I don't forget Ian! J I hope his day went well. It is odd, the change in dynamics in the house, but it is a bit calmer. J

SM MacLeod J

2:56 PM

Ian had a good day. Connor, Faith and I went and got them Sonic. First Day of School treat! Ian's teacher said she was putting him in a regular class for Social Studies, Science, and Math. She said he is smart. And he is very polite! I told him he must be using those manners that he forgets when he is around me! (He said a bashful sorry.)

The teacher seemed impressed. One girl is 95% deaf. He has a relatively small class right now. It does usually grow mid way. I am happy.

I saw Ron from across where we used to live. He said the girls are all growing like weeds. I told him I knew. He likes his new job for the state. April is doing well too. He was surprised by Ian being so big.

It was a good day! J SM MacLeod

Ian's Back in Public School - 15 Aug 2006

Ian's back to Public School
August 15, 2006

Well, tomorrow my "baby" Ian goes back to public school. I had that pang in my chest, but I know this is what he needs. We will walk him to school in the morning & I will meet his teacher. I have been told she is really a good teacher. I hope so. She sounded stern & that worries me. Ian doesn't do well with stern. I guess we will see.

Well, I guess I have done everything I wanted to today. I need to get back to walking in the morning. I think I can do that.

Jap, our newest grey and white kitty seems to be getting used to us. The cats still aren't sure. Mittens was getting closer last night!  Ian is ready for school and I guess I could do some more picking up. SM MacLeod

Good Luck son. Mommy loves you and all of you. J

Cats n Kids - 10 Aug 2006

August 10, 2006

Connor was up at about 5:45 this am. He was asking how long until morning. He got up and dressed. When I came out of my room he was in a chair reading a book waiting for TV time! I am so proud of him. He is doing very well. As he pointed out he didn't hardly need my help! I guess these are moments to be proud with a little wistfulness rolled inside. My boy is growing.

Faith slept until about 7:30. Awfully late for her. She came out carrying Jap, the new cat we adopted from the pound two days ago. He is grey and white. He is being more mobile. He looked like he was drunk yesterday when he came out of the cage! Poor guy. Had to explain to the boys what the surgery did. Being male, they felt for him!

J

This morning Faith Tahl has her 3 year check up. I expect she is due for shots as well. I haven't looked, but pretty sure.

We are starting back to schooling on Monday. We were supposed to start this week, but had so many appt & things interrupting that I decided we'd just start Monday. Ian needs to return to public school. I wish I could get him to understand he needs to get the reading part going. Perhaps I need to put him back in school now. I don't know. I will wait until the public school is going though. They are way to busy to deal with this now with school starting next week. We'll see. I just know he hungers for that people interaction.

SM MacLeod J

Well, I asked Ian if he wanted to go back to public school this morning & he ran off upset into his room. I flopped down next to him & asked what I did wrong. He said I kept asking him that. I explained that I needed to know. He said, You know I do. I said fine & went to make a few phone calls.

I got out documents & went to the Special Ed building. I filled out papers & went to Buena Vista where I registered him. I think he will be in the second grade. We'll see. Anyway, that is done & I just need to wait for Spec Ed to call to set up a newer IEP.  The new principal seems nice. Younger than I expected. They evidently are doing corporal punishment in the school now. No go for me. No one is going to hit my child.

It was just perfect timing to go up to the doctor for Faith's 3 yr check up. She was very excited. I was her turn to sit up on the table. She didn't even need any shots since she'd gotten her 1st half of Hep A a couple of weeks ago. Nothing for 6 mo more. He said I could take her to Zia for eval if I was worried about her speech. I am not that concerned just now. They won't do anything at her age anyway. I will wait another year then if she needs it, I will get her tested through the public school that offer the Pre-school.

The boys fussed at each other just as we got in the van. Ugh! Perhaps the separation will help them appreciate their playmates a bit more.

We went to WM to get the school supplies I didn't have for Ian. Then we went to Taco Bell and picked up lunch. I stopped at a few places on the way home & then we came home. Tess stopped a couple of minutes later & ate her lunch. She was at her Alamogordo Public School training for working at the cafeteria on base. We chatted, ate lunch, & I labeled items for Ian. We ran into Ian's preschool teacher at Buena Vista. It was nice seeing her. Ian loved her. She was always very nice and writes articles for the Daily News Kit N Kaboodle.

The rest of the day the kids played off & on out in the slip n slide. MSN'd w Tess a bit this evening. It is almost time for the kids to get to bed. Me too! J SM MacLeod

I overspent. Ugh. Me & my messes!

Where is Jim...Again - 2 Aug 2006

 August 02, 2006


Pretty girl


Faith decided Tiger should have a little jewelry too.  :)

Well, things are better this morning than they were yesterday morning!

It was pouring out, but that was fine, really. Papa & Jim couldn't go do the chimney so we swapped a day and were to go bowling and lunch. Well, the plan was to go by 10am. I told Jim this several times. By 9:30 he said he had to get a print out from the bank. I pointed out it wasn't long until time to go and he said he wouldn't be gone long.

Low and behold a half hour passed. The kids kept asking when he'd be back so we could leave. By 10:05 I called him. He was getting his oil changed in his truck! I said, "So, that takes precedence over plans we've made." I hung up before any reply. By 10:20 the kids wanted me to take them bowling. Finally, despite the sprinkle I got them loaded in the van and we started out, to pass him on the way. I went back home, the kids got in his truck and I didn't want to go at all by this time. I especially did not want to be with him! He begged me to go because he couldn't handle the kids. Funny he was handling them fine the first several days. He had an excuse for that too. They were going to the park and places they could go and he could watch them. Hello. One lane at a bowling alley? Eating lunch? Please!

I went. I was not happy or cordial. I did not bowl. I sat with Faith. We went to lunch and he paid and I didn't offer after my initial offer. He still hasn't paid the $70 he owes me anyway. We ate and went to the BX. I got a few items for class and my new bill holders. Jim had bought me a cute dolphin case with dolphin earrings and necklace. I don't know why. I haven't been particularly nice. I am hoping he leaves tomorrow, in fact!

He is off helping my dad again this morning. My poor dad has gotten bad luck lately. The spring isn't giving water up in La Borcita Canyon and he has to have another water tank installed with water delivered. Just when Jim starts to pay him what he should my dad has to use it on something else!

Photo's from the morning Jim left.

Michelle called me last night from her dad, Al's house. It was nice to talk to her. She is coming over on Thursday. Hopefully, we will also get to visit mom and Tonya since she wants to see them as well.

I was up early couldn't find my pedometer. When I did, I was already dressed and working about the house! Tomorrow I will get back to it. Connor is reading for TV. Ian is looking at a book with Faith. J

SM MacLeod

8 - We adopted a new cat from the pound. We get him Wednesday fromt he vet; all shots & fixed. "Jap" is probably going to be his name.

9 - We went to the base & I returned the chain saw. We got a few things & had lunch at Popeye's. The kids each got a toy. Home to go to the vet's. Dr. Staley was nice, he isn't bad looking either! He gave the kids pencils & stickers. He also offered to vaccinate the kids against rattle snakes, but they declined. :)

Faith called Dada; Ian talk to him. He liked the photo of my "windows".

Faith's 3rd Birthday!

Faith's 3rd Birthday!

Sunday, July 30, 2006        12:34 PM

Today is my Busha babies birthday! Faith is 3 years old! I let her have a present this am. Three more Bubah's and some necklaces. She was Very happy!

She asks about her birthday. She is going to take a bath so we can give her curlies. She has a Pooh table cloth, headbands, cups, and plates! She was happy with the cakes I made last night. The batter tasted good as did the frosting! I was pretty darn happy! J The chocolate has Pooh and the white has Happy Birthday candies. It is a very big thing!

I am finishing a movie. Company should be here in a couple of hours! Happy Birthday, Faith! J

Faith gave Aunt Tess a pig.   :)

I took the kids to the playground a bit this am. Jim loaded some of the bush stuff and took the children to the zoo. We ate lunch, Jim is on his way from the dump, and Connor, unusually, fell asleep on the couch. Ian is building. Faith is harassing Tiger.

Well, it is interesting. I thought perhaps I would automatically have that feeling of wanting to be with Jim, but I don't. He wants to be with me, but I am not sure why. I don't like hurting him. It is upsetting.

He took the boys to the Space Center the other day and bought them NASA suits and helmets. $75 each! I know he couldn't afford that. He bought a chain saw I am sure he couldn't afford as well. He cut out the huge Mulberry bushes I didn't like out front and trimmed the other bushes. It is great! I also think it gives him something to do.

Jim's Visit - 28 July 2006

July 28, 2006

Well, yesterday the boys helped me pick up the patio and the back yard for their father's coming visit. I raked the yard; that was fun.

After lunch I worked on my room. I was going through all of my clothes in my dresser when I thought I heard the door bell. Then it went again. The delivery people don't come that early. I went to answer the door and half way down the sidewalk was Jim! The goof had left at 8:30pm on Wednesday! He drove the whole way through.

He played with the kids; talked to them. They showed him things. I was quickly putting things back in my drawers!

The evening was fine. He didn't know if he wanted to stay in a hotel or not due to his wanting to be intimate with me. It just isn't in the cards for me at this point.
He and Connor went out to the base after he took a nap. Jim got a haircut.

The rest of the evening was fine. I told him, upon his fussing over it, if something happens it happens, & if it doesn't, it doesn't & not to worry about it.

Jim took the kids briefly to the park. I loaded some branches in the truck & Jim went to take them to the dump. The kids & I are getting ready to go to Uncle Roberts to swim.

SM MacLeod J

Pictures at school & in the Park - 21 June 2006

Pictures of Learning

                                                   

Today we went to the park & took "school" pictures & played.

 



Father's Day & Pool Fun - 18 June 2006

Today we celebrated Father's Day at our house on Park Avenue. We ate Papa's favorite desert, Apple Pie.

 After he opened his presents we were all going out onto the porch to play in our new little pool. The kids had a great times, especially with Grandma in with them.

Faith was hiding with Aunt Tess



Bottomless Rock Bed - 29 May 2006

Bottomless Rock Bed

May 29, 2006

First thing this morning the kids & I did a basket full of shopping. I don't have too much more left; mostly meats.


Jim called while we were there & said he wanted a divorce. After our conversation yesterday.... I said if that was what he wanted, I'd sign. I reminded him he'd lose VA money & he said that was fine & he'd pay the filing fee. I wasn't really upset until I did the paperwork. Then I was bummed. I called my sister & that was when I started the flowerbed.

I thought I would dig out the rocks from the flowerbed. It turns out there is tons of dirt under the rock & shells. I dug and dug. Eventually, I wasn't sure if it even had a floor! So, I evened it out.

The kids & I went to Kmart & got plastic to put down & then I moved the videos to what used to be the flower bed. I hope later to put a cover on it; perhaps cushioned, eventually.  It was far messier than I anticipated!

After Kmart I got Long John Silvers; way too much. Not more going there! On the way I remembered the boys had Donna apt. She said despite the two incidences, Ian jumping out of the tree & Connor lighting twigs, she feels they are doing well. She asked about Jim & I & she said I seem calmer.  

Unfortunately, yesterday, I said some harsh things, which is why Jim wants the divorce. He said he felt he gives me something positive by being in my life. I said, "No, you don't. You cause turmoil!" He said he was a good husband and I said, "No, you aren't." He said someone may think so. I said, but I am your wife so it is what I think. Just getting you to watch the kids.....

I told him he lives a lifestyle I no longer want. He lives like a single man and that is fine, but I don't live like a single woman. We don't go somewhere everyday; eat out 3 times a day. I exercise now. I made a comment about him changing & suddenly the defenses go up & he wants to know if I am going to change. I said I am not going to change because I am happy the way I am. I am happy with my life, in my home, raising my kids. He said he had hoped for reconciliation, but after talking to me that didn't seem likely.

He mentioned he couldn't move on as long as he was married to me. He won't even be moving back until next year! I can't tell him what may happen. Today, I told him in a year who knows what will happen. We may be able to fall in love again, but Jim said that couldn't happen if we were married. So, that is that, I guess. Funny enough I seem touchier about this second marriage than the other. This certainly doesn't help me with money or the life insurance issue we just got back on.

The house is still a bit of a mess from rearranging, but I think we're all happy.

Back to school in the am! SM MacLeod J

Letting you go / May 28 2006

May 28, 2006

Jim said, "If I love you I will just have to let you go."

Hospitalize my Son? - 20 May 2006

Hospitalize my Son?

Saturday, May 20, 2006

I am not happy. Dr. Fiszbein is sounding like Ian needs to be hospitalized. Last week he tried jumping out of a tree to stop his voices. He started Ian on Lithium, but he is tired, still hears the voices & if they are the reason he wanted to kill himself it makes sense to me to stop the voices not just take the desire of suicide out of the picture.

He had me give Ian another 1/2 now & I gave him another .5 of Risperdal. Maybe that will help. I don't know!

SM MacLeod

Mother's Day / B-Day - 11 May 2006

Mother's Day / B-Day
Thursday, May 11, 2006        3:45 PM

I guess nothing extraordinary has happened. I took the kids to the doctor the other day. Nothing bad, just a cold that hasn't given up yet. I had it a bit yesterday & a lot more today. I didn't walk this morning. I am always sorry when I don't, so I definitely have to do it tomorrow.

 This would be the creative one that will take ANY sheet in the house & make a hammock out of it!

Jim sent my Mother's Day/Birthday present, but I haven't gotten it yet. He called to see if I had, but I told him I was going to keep it for Sunday....Maybe I will! J

Seem innocent, right?

 

Did I say they were mine?

We had class this morning. I feel the boys are doing well. I am very proud of them both. I am still working on my pictures. Ugh. I wish I could get them all done. Well, I just have to keep at it.  MacLeod